Kimble Goes Monaco is a road documentary about a lavish trip to Monaco, including a cruise on a
rented yacht. Kim Schmitz's (Kim Dotcom founder of Megaupload ) self-funded 2001 ‘documentary’ Kimble Goes To Monaco saw Dotcom and friends spend £6.3m in one hedonistic Monaco grand prix weekend. The documentry was punctuated with Schmitz playing with
expensive toys, and featured a bizarre Bill-Gates-is-spying-on-me
subplot.
This documentary is in German, without subtitles, but you’ll get the gist in English :
Here is inside Kimble Goes to Monaco Documentry in English:
According to the retrospectively-ironic title card at the end—steal this chintzily edited home movie!) Opens with the Dallas theme music and a montage introducing Schmitz and the Kimble Clan, including bespectacled “Matthias ‘SCUZZY’ Ortmann” (the future CTO of Megaupload, nailed along with Kim on Thursday), a white guy and a black woman billed as “Fanta & Cola,” and “Vicci and Gitta, the Bunnies.” (Gitta is apparently Gitta Saxx, voted Germany’s Playmate of the Century in 2000, and featured in 2011 on Ich Bin Ein Star, Holt Mich Hier Raus!, the German version of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here.)
Kim rocks a stylish short-sleeved black kimono, shorts and two-tone wingtips; Kim poses with his fleet of Ferraris, with his Kimble.org helicopter. Kim and his buddy Keiwan Mirhaidari head-bob and air-guitar to a trance remix of “Rescue Me” while pushing 160 on the Autobahn from Munich to Monaco.
It’s all very nerds-with-new-money: Kim can afford to buy or rent a helicopter with his URL on it but instead of champagne we see him drinking a can of regular Coke from a 24-pack.
Then it’s nighttime, and we’re in Monaco, onboard “die zuper-zuper-yacht”—the Golden Odyssey, a 266-foot luxury motor yacht owned by Khalid bin Sultan, now Saudi Arabia’s Assistant Minister of Defense. The yacht has stairs, a coral-reef fish tank and a gym where women in heels can run on a treadmill if you happen to be making a documentary about the crazy shit that happens at your yacht parties. The guests at his fancy yacht party look like actors playing fancy-yacht-party guests in a porn film. Come aboard! Kimble ist expecting you!
Then it’s off to Jimmy*z, in Monaco (onscreen title: “PARTY TIME”), a nightclub where George Clooney is said to have enjoyed himself. Kim and his crew dance; Kim telegraphs his uncomfortableness by making goofy faces at the camera.
Then unglaublich!—he runs into somebody who totally looks like Richard Branson and they have a 20-second conversation. The next day, they spot Branson again, from their luxury box at a Formula One race, although he doesn’t seem to know he’s being filmed.
Then there’s a weird sequence in which Matthias Ortmann pretends to be sabotaging the race using his laptop and a program called “Kimble’s F1 Hacker.” He types in “EXPLODE”; cut to a pit crew frantically fixing one of the race cars.
An announcer says, in English: “Oh my God—Schumacher is out of the race! His car seems to have major problems. Schumacher stays in the pit, but I’m pretty sure Kimble has nothing to do with it.” Cut to Kim pretending to cry like a baby, then cackling, giving the finger and making a fart noise. Later, there are speedboats. Announcer: “Oh, shit! [German German German] speedboat [German German.]”
Over the end credits, we see a Flash-animated cartoon of Kimble as a superspy going after Bill Gates (for “distribution of corrupt code”—Kim was known for proclaiming himself Gates’ intellectual superior in interviews) and, for some reason, Slobodan Milosevic; parties thanked in the credits include Haddaway, Saudi billionaire Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal, Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Boris Becker, “Kims Mama,” “Kims Psychiater,” Mercedes-Benz, Ferrari, Porsche, “und ale meine Freunde.”
The English-language lyrics to the end-credits theme song are as follows:
Internet superhero
Ready to get down
We don’t work
We just fool around
We take the time we have to make up another sound
Like reaching in the bag I pull out my mouse
It’s like chipping[?] my computer to create some fat sounds
Watch “Kimble Goes to Monaco” Documentary
This documentary is in German, without subtitles, but you’ll get the gist in English :
Here is inside Kimble Goes to Monaco Documentry in English:
 |
| Lavishing Live of Kim Dotcom |
According to the retrospectively-ironic title card at the end—steal this chintzily edited home movie!) Opens with the Dallas theme music and a montage introducing Schmitz and the Kimble Clan, including bespectacled “Matthias ‘SCUZZY’ Ortmann” (the future CTO of Megaupload, nailed along with Kim on Thursday), a white guy and a black woman billed as “Fanta & Cola,” and “Vicci and Gitta, the Bunnies.” (Gitta is apparently Gitta Saxx, voted Germany’s Playmate of the Century in 2000, and featured in 2011 on Ich Bin Ein Star, Holt Mich Hier Raus!, the German version of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here.)
Kim rocks a stylish short-sleeved black kimono, shorts and two-tone wingtips; Kim poses with his fleet of Ferraris, with his Kimble.org helicopter. Kim and his buddy Keiwan Mirhaidari head-bob and air-guitar to a trance remix of “Rescue Me” while pushing 160 on the Autobahn from Munich to Monaco.
It’s all very nerds-with-new-money: Kim can afford to buy or rent a helicopter with his URL on it but instead of champagne we see him drinking a can of regular Coke from a 24-pack.
Then it’s nighttime, and we’re in Monaco, onboard “die zuper-zuper-yacht”—the Golden Odyssey, a 266-foot luxury motor yacht owned by Khalid bin Sultan, now Saudi Arabia’s Assistant Minister of Defense. The yacht has stairs, a coral-reef fish tank and a gym where women in heels can run on a treadmill if you happen to be making a documentary about the crazy shit that happens at your yacht parties. The guests at his fancy yacht party look like actors playing fancy-yacht-party guests in a porn film. Come aboard! Kimble ist expecting you!
Then it’s off to Jimmy*z, in Monaco (onscreen title: “PARTY TIME”), a nightclub where George Clooney is said to have enjoyed himself. Kim and his crew dance; Kim telegraphs his uncomfortableness by making goofy faces at the camera.
Then unglaublich!—he runs into somebody who totally looks like Richard Branson and they have a 20-second conversation. The next day, they spot Branson again, from their luxury box at a Formula One race, although he doesn’t seem to know he’s being filmed.
Then there’s a weird sequence in which Matthias Ortmann pretends to be sabotaging the race using his laptop and a program called “Kimble’s F1 Hacker.” He types in “EXPLODE”; cut to a pit crew frantically fixing one of the race cars.
An announcer says, in English: “Oh my God—Schumacher is out of the race! His car seems to have major problems. Schumacher stays in the pit, but I’m pretty sure Kimble has nothing to do with it.” Cut to Kim pretending to cry like a baby, then cackling, giving the finger and making a fart noise. Later, there are speedboats. Announcer: “Oh, shit! [German German German] speedboat [German German.]”
Over the end credits, we see a Flash-animated cartoon of Kimble as a superspy going after Bill Gates (for “distribution of corrupt code”—Kim was known for proclaiming himself Gates’ intellectual superior in interviews) and, for some reason, Slobodan Milosevic; parties thanked in the credits include Haddaway, Saudi billionaire Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal, Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Boris Becker, “Kims Mama,” “Kims Psychiater,” Mercedes-Benz, Ferrari, Porsche, “und ale meine Freunde.”
The English-language lyrics to the end-credits theme song are as follows:
Internet superhero
Ready to get down
We don’t work
We just fool around
We take the time we have to make up another sound
Like reaching in the bag I pull out my mouse
It’s like chipping[?] my computer to create some fat sounds
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