1. TEACHER: Why are you late?Rebecca: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
Rebecca: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
2. TEACHER: Jason, why are you doing your math multiplication On the floor?
Jason lezak: You told me to do it without using tables!
3. TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
4. TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
Thomas Finchum: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Thomas Finchum: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
5. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
6. TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years
ago.
WILLIE: Me!
7. TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
8. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
9. TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Jonathan Horton: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
10. TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also
admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."
11. TEACHER: Now, Barry, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Barry: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
12. TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
13. TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer
interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
TEACHER: What sign?
Rebecca: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
2. TEACHER: Jason, why are you doing your math multiplication On the floor?
Jason lezak: You told me to do it without using tables!
3. TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
4. TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
Thomas Finchum: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Thomas Finchum: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
5. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
6. TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years
ago.
WILLIE: Me!
7. TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
8. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
9. TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Jonathan Horton: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
10. TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also
admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."
11. TEACHER: Now, Barry, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Barry: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
12. TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
13. TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer
interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
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